Love is a complex emotion with many differnt ideas and concepts. I love my car, I love that hat, tommy loves jane.... I love you. We say it like any other common word out there, throwing it around without thought or time or care as to what it really means.
Love is the hardest emotion because it doesnt just start or end. It builds gradually, sometimes smoldering in your soul until it explodes in this passion, sometimes it lays dormant then one day you feel it. The hardest party about love is that once you feel it, you will probably always have a piece of you feeling it until the day you die.
Love is affection meets generosity meets happiness and peace. Love is kisses and hand holding and smiles even when that person isn't around and the meere thought of them has presented itself to your brain filling you with emotion. Love is withough lust, yet with it at the same tiem. Love is eternal sunshine, its everything and yet a vast emptiness of longing.
You can say "I love her.." or "I love you..." until your face turns blue, and hell you might actually convince yourself to believe it. But love is not the word. Love is the promise. love is the light and the stars and the wind in the trees. Its freedom and yet an undeniable bond.
When I say it I always mean it and yet, when he says it to me I dont think he was ever entirtely sure he meant it. Maybe he doesnt know what love is yet, maybe he thinks he needs to be in love in order to feel complete.... maybe he never loved me at all and was killing time. Just sayign those words because he knocked up some complete stranger and the guilt and pain of losing his options was wearing into him.
The greatest part is that because I actually loved, I am free. I felt the hurt in my chest and yet something has pulled me through. I think the knowledge that love is never ending. That you have infinite amounts of it to give and although it hurts it is also a blessing.
Ive met this guy who makes my mistakes seem childish. Who lights up my day just by talkign to me, just by asking me how I am and texting me until I fall asleep at night. I can really see something there with him, I can see myself in bed with him watching movies and going out on dates. I can see noah loving him and buying his daughter clothes.... i can really invision it. And THAT is the power of love.
the power to hope for the future.
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